Saturday, January 16, 2010

Commandments about Reproduction

1. Thou shall not sleep with fish, dead or alive.(just because a fish is dead does not mean you have to sleep with it to relieve its sadness). thou shall not also commit adultery with fossils
2. If thou ignore first commandment and do it anyway, thou Shall be known as the revered pervert prophet( not to be confused with sons of god, author prophets who write things up and just plain fish who are born out of virgin fish birth in the sea with the northern light shining in the sky)
3. Thou shall not covet for whales and walruses who are not fish but pretend like one.
4. Thou shall not attempt sleeping with sharks even if you are the revered pervert prophet( If done anyway, thou shall sue the shark for damages)
5. Thou shall not covet neighborhood fish even if such fish were divorced in the past
6. If you remain faithful to the cause and the fish religion, the fish heaven promises 72,000 fish eyed virgin fish school after you die. If you run out of them, you can go to the market and buy more.(there are plenty of fish in the sea )
7. Thou shall love Angel fish equally as a clown fish, thou shall have extend the same feeling for all species of fish
8. Thou shall be considered a heretic and banished to the beaten by fellows with a fish in a sock if you try to question the commandments
9. Thou are a moron if you believe this, why does a fish care about how you reproduce? If evolution is correct, all they want you is dead. more resources and less mouths to feed. The fish god does not have time or the money to keep you in 24/7 surveillance
10. One last commandment, Oysters increase sex drive? But where are the oyster nymphomaniacs

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